Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Not sure what to title this one. . .

Wowza. . .it has been over a year since I have posted.  That is largely due to the fact that I'm super busy, and really haven't felt the need to post.  I have occasionally checked on the blog to make sure it was still there.  :-) Ta da, it was!

In no way do I claim to be a blogger, or feel that I have some great words of wisdom to offer anyone.  But having a blog does help me feel like I'm unloading some things off my chest that needs. . .well, unloading.  So since my last post, over a year ago, I have had so many changes.  Good changes.  I've gone back to my old place of employment and was blessed with a very good job, still loving my home, but most of all I've just grown.  I've grown in my faith with the Lord, and I would like to think I've gained some wisdom along the way.  I've learned how much a person can handle both emotionally and mentally.  Heck, physically as well.  I've gone through the bitterness of being a single mom, as well as being so thankful for this little person who continues to amaze me with his wit and contagious laughter.  Who by the way is 3 years old now!!!

One of the realizations I came to was that it wasn't my fault my now ex-husband left.  Today, or tomorrow (I can't remember) marks 2 years since I've been divorced.  Time sure does fly. . .even though it doesn't always feel like that.  Earlier this year I learned that my ex-husband had been cheating on the affair partner.  Apparently they broke up for a short time, but they did soon get back together.  Maybe it shouldn't have taken that, but it was THEN I realized that him leaving was about so much more.  It wasn't about me gaining weight during my pregnancy (thank you pre-eclampsia), or wanting to spend time with our son instead of playing softball or volleyball until late in the evening.  It was about him and his deep rooted issues that can only be fixed by him and God.  I don't say these things to sound harsh, or to put him down, but I truly believe their are real issues.  And frankly, similar issues many today struggle with.  I believe he is someone who needs constant hype in his life, someone who needs to be in the spotlight or else he feels inadequate in some way.  Again, I am not trying to bash him, but truly believe this.  Okay, I'll stop trying to defend myself now.  I think until someone is content about who they are, and where God has them, they will always be looking for the next high.  If they feel as if they're being overshadowed by someone else's success, they find a way to surpass that.  Maybe they don't consciously think "well he has this going for him, how do I trump that?", but just rather they can't handle not being the latest news.

So now the reason behind posting after being AWOL for over a year.  My ex-husband told me tonight he was "planning to be engaged soon."  Surprisingly there is no need for *screeching tires* or *insert cricket sounds* because I knew it was coming.  Not just this feeling, but I knew.  Let me back it up a few days or so.  I was laying in bed the other night and this thought popped into my head "how will you react when he tells you he's engaged?" So I rehearsed in my head that I would just say "OK" and act like it was no big deal.  This past Saturday, I wanted to take Carter to a Fall Festival at a church I have been visiting.  It was his dad's weekend, so I asked if he would allow Carter to come.  He did and it was a nice hour and a half hanging with Carter.  I was headed to a friend's house after the festival, so had a nice drive to think about the fun afternoon with little man.  You know how your brain tends to wonder to conversations you had, or maybe just different times in your life? *I know I'm not the only one* I thought about the time I had prayed and did a 24 hour fast, begging God to restore my marriage.  Of course it didn't turn out like I had prayed.  But as I was driving on Saturday, I thought of that moment, and told God how I know he didn't answer my prayer the way I wanted it at the time because HE LOVES ME TOO MUCH! God loved me too much to allow me to be in a marriage with someone who was incapable of being faithful.  I believe God has and wants so much more for his daughter, than to be in a miserable marriage with someone who doesn't see a problem with having sex with other people outside of his marriage.  From what his girlfriend has told people, she wasn't the first one he had slept with, so for all I know there were at least 2 he had been with while we were married.  That's not God's plan for marriage, and I want His plan.

So when he told me the news, I really was OK with it.  I am OK with it.  I don't have that feeling of wanting to throw up, or feeling depressed.  I don't, and it's wonderful! I've learned so much about him the last few years that has made me thankful I found out when I did.  Now with them getting married.  I don't wish anyone's marriage to fail.  I don't.  But in all honesty, I will be surprised if they make it.  Maybe I will eat crow, maybe I won't.  Maybe they have really put their faith in the Lord and have turned completely around.  As far as my son goes, it has bothered me that he's had Carter around her so much.  However, the only thing that will change with this marriage is it will be legal.  He has an apartment, but already lives with her.  He has Carter there.  I'm not quite sure why he has an apartment unless it's to appease his parents.  That's not my issue to worry about though.  So them being married won't really change the way they live their life around Carter now.

So I'm 32 years old, and a single momma who never ever imagined my life would turn out this way thus far.  But. . .I am also hopeful to see what is ahead.  In the words of my sister "I don't believe that is a coincidence" when I told her about feeling like God had warned me.  God warned me! I see that as He loves me so much, He wanted to make sure he prepared me for what was coming.  And you know what? He did.  So much so that I had to hold back from saying "I already knew that." 

God, thank you for continuing to pour out your love and blessings on me.  You know I've doubted along the way, but when I look back, I can see where you have worked and placed treasures along the way for me.  Thank you for my son, and I pray God that you will help me to raise that boy.  I pray he will grow to love you, and desire a true relationship with you.  I pray that through his parent's divorce, that you will teach him what real love is.  What real commitment is.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Busy 7 Months

I keep reminding myself that I need to post an update on my blog.  The time just gets away from us, doesn’t it? A lot has happened since January.  I will try my best to write everything out to the best of my memory!

In mid-March I started “The One Year Bible” plan.  I need to catch up with the readings they posted from January to when I started, and then on top of that, I’m about 3 weeks behind since I started the study. I keep pushing through, and am determined to finish it.  I would like to start the plan over again once I’ve finished.  The Old Testament has been a little harder for me to get through, but I’m doing it! 1 Samuel has been my favorite OT book so far.  One of the many things that have stuck out to me during my reading was that it never seems to work if the people do what they think is best. . .even though God told them He had it under control.  A verse I have held onto is Exodus 14:14 “The Lord himself will fight for you.  Just stay calm.”  I’ve also been following Good Morning Girls.  The site’s founder Courtney, has a color highlighting system she uses for her Bible.  I think it’s a great way to get into your study. 

The old house finally sold. . .yay! It passed the home inspection, and then we just waited for the buyer’s lender to cooperate.  The original closing date was scheduled for April 16 (mom’s birthday), but then the closing date got pushed back to April 24 (my birthday).  I was glad to see the house go, but at the same time it was a very emotional, and exhausting time for me.  It was closing another chapter to that part of my life.  However, once the house sold, I had this weight just lifted off of my shoulders.  The house was pretty big, and so I had so much stuff that I wanted/needed to get rid of.  I wasn’t sure at that moment where Carter and I were going to move to (we were going to stay with my parents temporarily), so I didn’t know how much I could fit into whatever place we ended up at.  My motto for that time was if I hadn’t seen it in over a year, it was gone.  *therapeutic*

Carter and I moved in with my parents in mid-April.  They welcomed us with open arms, but it was hard to move back home.  I was turning 31 in a few weeks, with a 20 month old son, moving back in with my parents.  I had a crew from church help me move all of my furniture and other things to my parent’s house one Saturday.  It was such a blessing to have that help.  My neighbor coordinated it for me, and I’m so glad she did.  I was under so much stress that having her do that meant the world to me.  Even though it was hard having to move back home because that was never in the plan, it has been very nice having two extra people to help me with Carter.  Carter and my stepdad, or his Papa, are inseparable.  I enjoy seeing their relationship grow.  I’ve gotten used to having help.  There will be mornings I get up, and Carter and his Papa are watching the Sprout station together.  Carter helps Papa make breakfast, they sit out on the front porch and listen to the birds, he picks strawberries from the garden and Carter “helps” Papa with feeding the animals and folding laundry.  My parents are also very helpful on the not so fun days when Carter is sick.  My stepdad has been off work recently, and has helped to watch Carter during the week. . .and it has been good for both of them.  Carter says he’s “buddies, pals with Papa” and that couldn’t be more true. 

I started working in a real estate office back in August so I could work closer to home.  They’re a wonderful group, and have been a blessing to me and Carter.  My boss and his wife found a home they thought I would like.  It’s a cute 1.5 story home on a dead end street.  I went through the home, and immediately liked it.  It’s a solid, cute little home (half the size of the old house) that would be much easier for me to manage.  It also has a 1.5 stall garage, and a partially finished basement which I love! The only major things I wanted to change in the house was the flooring and paint the walls.  I made an offer on May 12 (which would have been my 3rd wedding anniversary), and closed on it June 12! As I was making the offer, I was thinking how I sold the old house on my birthday, and made an offer on the new house on my old wedding anniversary.  New beginnings? Last year on my birthday I had found out about the affair just a few weeks before.  So, this time on my birthday I was signing that part of my life away. . .and it was good.  I will remember that I made an offer on the new house May 12, 2015.  Carter calls it “Carter’s house”. ;-)  It’s been so much fun buying stuff for the house, too! I have new carpet installed where I wanted it, and then I’m waiting for my brother-in-law, Chad (I don’t like saying ex brother-in-law, so I won’t) to help me install my vinyl flooring in the kitchen and dining room.  The place I had install my carpet was going to charge a huge amount of labor for the kitchen and dining rooms, so thought I could purchase the materials for those rooms and then get a few people to help me install it.  Chad and Evie have been such a big help to me.  I should have written down every time they’ve helped me, and I’m sure it would take up most of this blog page! I’ve had a lot of help from friends with painting the house.  One day after work I came to the house to paint because I had friends there who had been painting all day, and found scripture written on the floor board.  I absolutely loved it! So even though the new flooring will cover it, scripture will always be in that house. 
I will get a picture of me and Carter in front of the house, but this was too cute to not share!!

I will get a better picture!

I welcomed a new baby nephew! Bennett John Moring.  Or as Carter calls him, “Baby Bennett”.  He’s so cute, and just getting bigger all the time! I’m so happy that Chad, Evie and the girls have a new little addition to their family!

Carter also got his first haircut in May.  He did such a good job! We weren’t sure how he would react, but he was a good boy and just sat and played. 

Carter and I also spent a weekend up in Dixon, IL last month.  We visited Lewie, Dina and BB Frye.  They’re a wonderful family.  They’ve been building onto a house they bought recently, and on one of their walls they have a tree they painted, and when people come over, we can put our handprints on the tree as leafs.  So honored Carter and I are on that tree!

So in a nutshell, that has been the last 7 months! I’m going through some picture from the last year and could type so much more, but I’ll spare you all the details. ;-)  Once we are unpacked and officially moved into the new house, I would like to start a garden.  I’ve never tackled that before, and am excited to try it.  I was walking with a friend the other day and we were talking about gardening.  I just looked over at her, and said, “do you hear what we are talking about?” She said we’re getting “old”. ;-) It’s funny how your interests change as you get older. 
Making silly faces for the camera!



Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The New Normal

I don’t know if I will ever truly get used to having to spend time away from my son when he goes to his dad’s house.  I know that when he is with his dad it is supposed to be a time for me to do what I want to do, and that I should just try and enjoy that time.  The truth is, it’s extremely hard for me to try and enjoy that time.  Maybe if I were at home with him all day instead of working, spending that one night a week and every other weekend away from him would be “easier”.  I miss him during the work day, and that’s plenty of time away from my son.  It’s just heart breaking.  He’s growing up so fast, and I want to absorb every moment with him that I can.  It’s just another one of those issues that comes up that you have to work through when you go through a divorce.  I never imagined my child having to grow up shuffling between two homes.  I just have to remind myself that this wasn’t my choice for him, but what I can do is choose to bring him up in the most stable and loving environment that I can. 
I have been talking with other single moms and finding out how they deal with it.  What are some things they do to make things easier for their kids and for them?  I’m attending a Hearts at Home conference in March, and I’m looking forward to it.  I want to absorb as much wisdom as I can with how to handle being a single mom.  It really is one of the toughest jobs, but when that little boy runs up to you laughing and smiling when he sees you, it makes it all worth it! I just love that little guy.  :-)  I have to remind myself that when fears pop up, I have to give them over to God.  He is in absolute control, and He loves that little boy even more than I do.  That is hard for me to fathom, but I know it’s true.  Carter has such a sweet spirit about him, and I don’t want that to change.  He’s such a loving child, and that makes me feel good as his mom.  Deuteronomy 6:5-7 “ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” I have to daily remind myself of that.  It’s one thing to speak the truth, which is good, but I want to live the truth.  I need that reminder! We need one another, and we need people who will encourage us to live our lives according to God’s truth.  We need people who will tell us when we’re doing something wrong, because that is love.  I came across Matthew 18:15-20 that reads “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.  Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” That’s convicting for me.  For one, if I see another believer sinning and doing something they shouldn’t be doing, am I going to approach them and tell them, or worry they’ll say I’m being “judgmental?” And, if someone comes to me and tells me what I’m doing isn’t aligned with the Bible, will I be wise and listen, or do the opposite and rebuke them? You can pray for me about that.
On a different note. . .
I love making plans and having things to look forward to.  Evie, the girls, Carter and I plan to go to a museum at the end of February, I have the Hearts at Home conference in March, and then heading back up to Galena with Evie and her friend Lori in April! My mom’s job is going to have her take some business trips to Nashville, so I’m planning to go on some of those trips with her.  I can’t wait to take Carter on some trips.  I want to show him different things, and have him see that there is a whole world out there.  I've always loved to travel, and hope he'll like that as well.  He won’t remember it, but he already took his first plane trip out to California.  It’ll be fun to see what sparks his interests.  Will he like music (he already loves the guitar, so I plan to work on that with him), astronomy, art, building and creating things?
Just like everyone else, I’m ready for some Spring like temperatures.  I want to open my windows, clean my car out and take Carter fishing with his Pa. 
Giving loves to his cousin Jillian.

And more loves to his cousin Olivia.

Watching Curious George :-)

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Ready for Christmas?

I keep thinking how I need to post something on my blog at least once this month, but there doesn’t seem to be any time in the day to do that! I did catch an interview on Ellen yesterday with a woman who lost her 3 year old son earlier this year.  I added her blog, Baby Boy Bakery, to my list of favorite blogs.  She is real with the pain her and her husband are going through, but yet she also tries to find the positives in her everyday life.  I encourage you to read it.  She’s inspiring.

Are you ready for Christmas?! I’m not! At least with some last minute gifts I need to get.  I wasn’t even planning on putting up a Christmas tree this year (I didn’t have one and didn’t want to buy an artificial one until AFTER Christmas), but my friend Jill and her husband just happened to be getting rid of theirs.  So, ta da! We have a tree, and they even provided lights! Carter hasn’t been as interested in the tree as I thought he would.  However, I have failed to put ornaments up this year, so I’m sure that if I put those up next year he’ll get those.  Anything that resembles a ball he grabs and throws.  Oranges, ornaments. . .  My friend Jill also pointed out that if you have ornaments on your tree that look edible, Carter may eat those as well.  Luckily, the edible looking ornaments were edible, so everything was good.  She was so kind as to snap a few pictures for me of him getting into the gingerbread cookie ornaments on her tree! *silly boy* He also knows where his nose and ears are.  He can say nose, too! That boy is smart.  He knows a lot of words and their meanings, even if he can’t say them yet.  I’m amazed at how much information he’s absorbing.
I just had put the tree and lights up.  I liked watching Carter look at it.
In the act. . .

Caught! ;-)

Had to throw this one in.  He loves this hat!

This year was definitely not the kind of year I was expecting, and has come with a lot of pain and tears, but I have also seen the good in people.  People have wanted to show their love, and how much they care for me and Carter.  It has been so humbling, and I’m so thankful.  Whether it has been through prayer, giving your time, or other gifts, I pray God blesses you more than you ever imagined.  So, THANK YOU! 
One of the things I had missed this year, but have discovered again was laughter.  I’ve had some great conversations with friends that have made me laugh so hard my stomach hurts! We all need laughs like that! Another feeling I had missed was contentment.  I feel content where I’m at right now.  I was reading a book right before bed the other night, and was thinking how I was content in that moment.  Carter was asleep, and I was in my room alone reading.  I hate the weekends Carter is gone, but I take that time to do something fun for me.  I keep saying I will stay home and rest, but I usually do the opposite.  My neighbor and friend is having a Christmas party Saturday night, so I will be enjoying that.  Carter went with me to a Christmas party last Saturday night.  He fell asleep on the way to their house, and was still asleep when I got there.  I had to take a picture. :-)
At Dr. Hanna and Sherry's house.  He was out!

I hope you have a Merry Christmas!!
Philippians 4:11 "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content."

Wednesday, November 26, 2014


Thankful - Seems like an appropriate topic for the season. I try to stop and give thanks for all that I have more than just once a year, but I sometimes have to be reminded to do so. It’s so easy for me to complain about the things going wrong, instead of being grateful for what I do have. When we start being thankful for all of the “little things” in our lives, I think that will open our eyes to being thankful for so many more things we may overlook. When the cold weather hits, my fuzzy socks come out. I don’t like sleeping with socks on at night, but when it’s cold like this, I have to have those socks. So thankful for them! But on a more serious note, I’m so thankful for Carter. I had posted on Facebook the other morning how I woke up to him giving me slobbery zerberts on my face. Those are the moments I cherish. Those are memories that I will always remember. When I’m trying to pick up the house, I have this little blonde headed boy right behind me tearing things apart. I look at him and think how I am so thankful he’s healthy, and happy. I was 29 when Carter was born. I had all those years of being able to keep things in my living area how I wanted it, pick up and go wherever I wanted without having to worry about a babysitter, vacation across the country or just a state away without any worry. Now I have a little boy to look out for, and honestly, he’s so worth it.
A friend gave me a book called Praying Circles Around Your Children. It’s a short read, and has some great points in it. The prayers we pray for our children never go away. God hears them and remembers them. I’m praying for Carter now, but also praying for him as an adult. One verse the author mentions a few times is Luke 2:52 "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” The author prayed that his children would do the same. I pray that Carter will grow in wisdom and stature, and that he will find favor with God and man. I know that he will make mistakes throughout his life, like we all do, but I pray that he has the wisdom to make them right. I’ve been praying lately for him to have discernment as he gets older. I’ve been praying that for myself, too. I was looking up different verses that talked about wisdom and discernment. Proverbs, of course, is filled with advice and wisdom. James 1:5 says that “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him”. God wants to share that wisdom, and He does, but it is ultimately up to us if we want to look for it and accept it.
I’m also thankful for my family, church family and friends. I have been showered with blessings, and at times it has been hard to accept. It is amazing to see the body of Christ working together. It’s humbling to accept the gifts, but I have to remind myself that I can’t rob someone else of their blessing, so I need to accept this blessing myself. Luke 6:38 (NLT) “ Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” The gifts those people have showered on me whether by giving their time, resources or a lending ear, they will receive blessings in return.
 I finally filled out a section in the back of Carter's baby book that said "A letter from mommy".  I didn't have room to write everything I wanted, and thought of a few extra things.
   You continually amaze me. You were this tiny baby who weighed just under 5lbs when you came home, and now you’re flourishing with learning new things every day, and spreading that contagious smile of yours. I pray that God will grab your heart now, and that you will desire to follow him all the days of your life. Volunteer. I pray that you have compassion for people. That you will see through the eyes of God, and desire to help those in need. I pray that you have wisdom and discernment as you grow and learn about this world. There are many things that will vie for your attention, and I pray that you will know which paths to take and which ones to stay away from. Travel. I pray you will be humble enough to reach out to Godly influences to help steer you in the right direction. Never be afraid or feel like you’re less of a person for admitting you need guidance. See the beauty around you. I pray you thirst to learn about God and His truth. Proverbs 19:20 (NIV) “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.” I pray you never reach a point in your life where you think you have all the answers. One of my favorite quotes is “the more I see the less I know.” Don’t be afraid to sing. I pray that you will be a Godly husband. I pray that you will love and protect your wife. That you will think of her before yourself, and help her grow in her relationship with Christ. I pray that she will give you the honor and respect that God has called her to do as well. Be a light for your children. Let them see God in you, and know that you play an important role in their lives. Know the importance of family because they won’t always be there. Make sure you call your family and friends just to talk. It’s nice to hear a voice sometimes instead of reading a text message. Pray for those that hurt you, even when it’s difficult. Know that if you don’t have the words to speak, God knows your heart and hears you. Develop a good work ethic. Colossians 3:23 “Whatever work you do, do it with all your heart. Do it for the Lord and not for men.” Remember that you are blessed to have a job, and should be thankful and respectful. I pray that you know you can talk to me. I know that it may be weird at times because I’m mom, but I hope and pray that you do.


Saturday, November 8, 2014

Needed Weekend Away

  It has been a busy few weeks since I wrote last.  My best friend Jen had a baby shower last weekend.  We had it at the church, and it turned out really nice.  She's due January 4 with her first child.  Her and her husband picked out the name, Noah Jay.  One of the foods for the shower was a fruit tray.  I had some apple slices laid out, but came home with a lot of extra apples.  So, I decided to make some apple bread! I first made it a month or so ago because apple bread just sounded good to me. has just about everything on there.  The recipe I made this week made two loafs, so I took one to work, and the other with me and Evie to Galena.  Which is where I'm blogging from right now.  We took a little weekend trip to get away.  Just needed some sleep, and to be able to lay around and watch TV.  We had some "first world problems" along the way.  First, Evie reserved the hotel for Friday and Saturday night.  When we got to the hotel, they only had us booked for Friday night.  We were just slightly less than amused.  We stayed in that hotel Friday night, and were able to get a hotel for Saturday night.  Okay, so that was taken care of.  Then, Evie realized she forgot her boots.  She only brought skinny jeans, and they are a little too short for her, so she can't exactly where tennis shoes (only shoes she remembered to bring) with them.  We made a trip to Wal-Mart to find her some new boots.  Then we had other little nuisances that we just had to laugh about.  Again, "first world problems."  We are watching Call the Midwife on Netflix and eating pizza in our hotel room.  We joke how we're child-free this weekend, and laying around the hotel room in our yoga pants on a Saturday night.  This.  Is.  Heaven.  I also made a lemon sugar facial scrub that I found on Pinterest.  3 to 4 uses contains 5 Tbsp of sugar, 1 Tbsp of olive oil, juice of 1 lemon and 1 tsp of honey.  It smells great! We're going to try it tonight, so hopefully it works!

A few shots of downtown.

Not the best picture, but it's good!


I knew the baby food jars would come in handy at some point. ;-)

The last few weeks have been the best few weeks I've had in months.  It's such a great feeling when you just start looking in a different direction.  If something started to bother me, I would just ask God to take it, and remember He's in control of everything.  That is such a freeing feeling! I know that it will be something I will continue to need to work on, but with what was thrown at me, that's understandable.  I just have to remind myself who I am, and what I want and don't want.  What kind of person I want to be for my son, and who I don't want to be.  While I was going through different gift shops today, I saw so many cute books that I want to get for Carter.  I have started to read to him at night, and he actually listens! He used to squirm around, but now he seems to enjoy looking at the pictures in the book.  Evie suggested to look for various books, DVDs and CDs.  To go along with my other wild Saturday night plans, I will check out that website for stuff to get Carter. :-) If you come to Galena and are in the mood for a pizza that is smothered in cheese, and very filling. . .get the double decker cheese pizza from Procento's.


"Let God's promises shine on your problems." - Corrie Ten Boom

Plenty of food?

Not very good at the "duck face"...

Real smiles. . .

Sparkling Grape Juice. . .wild Saturday night!

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Control, Control, Control

CONTROL.  We all want control over our lives and circumstances.  Yes, we as Christians say we ultimately want God to be in control, but let’s admit it. . .there is a part of us that wants to be in control of what happens because that is what WE want.  I’ll admit I have that problem sometimes. . .maybe more than just sometimes.  Have you had something major happen in your life where you seem to be playing it cool, doing very well and then BAM. . .something triggers that monster inside of you that you have been trying to keep at bay?  Once that happens it’s “watch out world, she’s comin’, and it ain’t pretty!”  I had one of those moments the other night.  Then once everyone had left the house, I cried and yelled at God.  You know what? God wants you to yell and scream (make sure the kids are not around, you might scare them!) at Him.  He is a big God who can handle it.  He wants you to be real with Him! Psalm 61:2 “From the ends of the earth I call to you God, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” He already knows your circumstance and every detail and thought, so why not just be bold and talk to Him about it? Sometimes I worry that my anger at God will cause Him to retaliate against me, but that’s not who my God is.  My God has seen every laugh, every tear, every single moment of my life, and He loves me.  He loves YOU.  I sang “Jesus Loves Me” with Carter the other night (I changed the words to Yes, Jesus loves Carter. . .), and as I was singing it to him, the tears started to flow as I was reminded that he loves me too.  “Yes, Jesus loves Krystle, Yes, Jesus loves Krystle, Yes, Jesus loves Krystle, the Bible tells me so”.  You can insert your name in there because it’s true for you, too.  Thank goodness Carter didn’t realize I was horribly off pitch at this moment. ;-) We see this song as something we sing as children, but maybe we just need to get back to the basics every now and then and remind ourselves of who God is?  My focus is on Carter, and wanting him to be brought up in not just a Christian home, but in a home that follows Christ.  I pray that he has a true relationship with God, and that everyone around him will help lead him to that.  I’m doing what I know to do which is praying with him in the morning, on the way to the babysitter’s house and before bed.  Deuteronomy 6:5-7 “ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Help me Lord to be that parent!
He's so cute!!
He's checking out the soccer ball.

Carter was with his dad this weekend at his grandparent’s house.  He went to an Orchard and rode ponies, played on the tractor and took a picture with a pumpkin.  He is such a handsome little guy.  I’m biased.  ;-) He has a mouth full of teeth, too! He has been cutting 3 molars at once, and has done such a great job.  There was one week where he wouldn’t sleep in his crib and wanted mom, but other than that he’s been a trooper.  His Pa (my stepdad) has taught him to say “I want a sandwich”, so he walks around saying it.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, my child’s first sentence is him proclaiming he wants a sandwich! I picked Carter up at a soccer game yesterday because Jill’s (babysitter/friend) son had a game.  We stayed at the field for a while and enjoyed the game, and just playing in an open field together.  Maybe he’ll enjoy playing that someday? He likes to sing and is fascinated with the guitar and piano.  Hoping he will be interested in learning to play those, too.  I need to bust out that guitar myself and start playing again.  I think I will. . .